You know when you have the feeling of ‘I failed’, like you wasted so much time, you didn’t do as you promised to yourself. You look at your self and have a feeling of disgust- like you’re stuck. I’m waiting but what am I waiting exactly for? Someone to save me? Why? Look at the dusty quran, the hobbies you promised you’d do, the family quality you avoid, what is going on for us to be stuck in this loop? And how do we stop it?
If this is familiar to you, then so will my answer be. You might even be tired of hearing it but there is no much better than a reminder, first of all keep in mind you’re a Muslim, your Fitr is bound to sin, we are sinners- but the best sinners of us are those who repent. And I need you- no you must keep that in your mind and heart, repent repent repent no matter how many times you have sinned. Allah is The Most Forgiving, Allah is The Most Merciful don’t even let a grain of doubt tell you otherwise. Now imagine a mother’s love, how many times does she get mad at her own kid but no matter how many mistakes her kid does she’ll love him unconditionally, I can’t even compare that with Allah’s love to us, it’s tremendous, this is the true love! Now this is your first step for starting again, ask forgiveness to Allah, perform wudu and do two rak’a’s of repentance. But have the faith that you will be forgiven In sha Allah.
Now the second step is your space, clear out your space because “النَّظَافَةُ مِنَ الإِيمَان” meaning that cleanliness is half of faith. Science says that a clean space can impact your mental health positively and reduces stress. Dust off, organize and mop, do it all step by step until it’s all done. Ask someone to help you or try to make it fun so you won’t be demotivated, an advice that I can give regarding letting your space fresh and neat is to not let accumulate, divide the chores in a week and the deep cleaning divide them in months.
And the third step is taking care of your mental health, first and foremost by prayer –– through it comes success in this life and the next one. It’s not a chore, not something that you have to finish, it’s a moment of silence and leaving the chaos of Dunya behind, to find piece in The hands of Allah. The moment you put your head to the ground and whisper your Dua, tell Him how you feel, or don’t because he can hear your heart and thoughts without you needing to turn them into words. See how easy Allah makes it for us? Why not take this chance of understanding that Allah is in your favor? Yes He is –– because first of all you are Muslim, Allah gave you this immense opportunity of having the knowledge why we were created, secondly you are reading this right now, and this is proof that Allah is guiding you to come back to Him, do it –– without thinking about it or doubting, never doubt.
Take walks and get inspired by the beauty of Allah’s creation, take a journal and write down your thoughts, listen to the Quran. Especially the Quran will help you to heal your heart and mind, don’t just carelessly read it, read it within it’s depths and meanings, read the words of Allah. Read them like letter He wrote to you specifically, and see how your perspective of life changes.
Cut off music, because music is a disease to heart and souls. Just because everyone does it does not mean you have to as well, stop making up excuses and telling your self I’ll stop next time, what if there is no next time? What if you meet Allah in that state? Even if music is still discussed whether it’s halal or haram, it stays a distraction from reality and truth. So delete those lists you have, and try avoiding it until you don’t have space for it.
I know it’s not easy to stand up, everyone has their own challenges in life and tests –– may Allah make it easy for us all. But don’t let the devil’s waswas win you over and let you sink in darkness, as long as the doors of Mercy are still open do not despair in His Mercy.